So Called "Christianity"

So this is something I've wanting to write about for a long time, but school got in the way. Okay, I thought of it monday night...but when you have a blog that is FOREVER to wait. I actually should be starting my paper for English that's due tomorrow, but I don't even remember what it's supposed to be about and its not due for 15 hours so I can put that on the back burner for now. Okay...enough jokes. Put on your serious faces, cuz this is actually kinda a heavy issue (in my humble conservative opinion).

The Area of Sinning

I love posts like the this one because I am going to sound like I am completely contradicting myself. I don't know why I enjoy that...I just do. But as you know from previous posts. I am actually not contradicting myself. You just may have to read closely. :)

My main two points of this post are:
1. Don't worry so much about your sinning.
2. For Pete's sake...STOP SINNING!

-PART ONE-

:) Told you they are contradictory. Let me explain.

The Boy In The Park

 

Immature. Foolish. Proud. Arrogant. Like most boys I suppose. He seemed nice, a little reserved, yet intriguing. If you simply passed him by you might not notice him. You probably wouldn’t, and if you did it would most likely happen because you ran into him. You see, he walks slower than most others. Not slower as in his pace. He walks life slower. That’s the only reason I noticed him. It’s strange the things you notice if you take the time to look. I’m not sure why I took the time today. Perhaps it was simply from God. I don’t know. But I noticed this young man walking through the park. I walk through the park because I like parks. I think he walks through the park because he finds something magical about it.

A bird flies over and he cocks his head to watch it fly over. He turns around and watches it disappear over the hill and out of view. The bird has been gone for some time now and yet he watches. As if in pain at the loss. As if saying a last farewell to a creature he has just met. I then saw as he knelt down to a small patch of red flowers. I wasn’t sure what had grabbed his attention until i saw his hand reach out and touch one of the flowers. But the one he touched was yellow. The only yellow flower among all the red. I would not have noticed. But he had. He touched that flower so delicately. As if a rough touch from his finger would shatter it. Slowly he raised to his feet. He took one last look at the flower, sighed, and continued walking. I ran up to the young man, thinking to myself that I must meet him. 

“Hey!” I said as I approached him.

He turned. Almost in slow motion it seemed. His blue eyes met mine and he smiled. 

“Hello.” 

I cannot explain that moment. My eyes were locked on his. No. Not on. Through. I believe this young man controlled time itself, because it did not exist for this moment. I took a journey, in a way I cannot explain, past the space between us, through his eyes, and into his soul. I fell into a land of peace. I would tell you of it, but I’m afraid it would be easier to explain the feel of the wind.

However, peace was not all that dwelt in there. I also saw a land of darkness. Incredible darkness that was advancing toward the light. I then flew over the space between where a great war was waging, and if I was not mistaken the darkness was prevailing. Suddenly time resumed, and the boy turned and walked away. I was shell shocked.

Who was this boy? Against my better judgement I followed him through the park, and to his house. I dare say he did something with my mind, for never would I on my own behalf follow someone to their own home. I saw him go to his mailbox, grab the letters inside, and walk into his house. I ran to the window, and saw him sit at his desk. He flipped through the letters one by one, until he stopped at a certain envelope. His eyes grew wide. And then, once again, time changed. It didn’t stop. It just...changed. My gaze seemed to zoom in on his fingers.

They moved ever so slowly. His left hand held on firmly to the bottom of the envelope. His thumb made the slightest dent, and he loosened his grip. The four fingers of his right hand were on the backside of the envelope, while his thumb slowly broke the seal. Slowly, because if the envelope were to rip ever so slightly, the letter inside would simply vanish. I had never seen such care taken with such a simple thing. His hands were shaking slightly. I would have thought the letter brought ill news, but he showed no signs of sweating. And yet he did not seem excited either. What was it? The sound of the tearing seal filled my ears. The hands began to shake more noticeably, but soon the seal had been completely broken. My heart beat fast, anticipating the removal of the letter inside. But he did not remove it. I wanted to scream.

“Just take out the letter!”

But I thought better of it. After all, which is more strange. A man who opens an envelope without reading the letter, or a stranger outside the window yelling for him to do so? Therefore, I decided to wait. My gaze shifted to his eyes once again. A strange look they had. At first I thought it was fear, but I quickly dismissed that idea. Sadness was next, but no, nothing was the matter.

A mix of joy and fear it seemed to me. But what word describes that? And then I knew. How? I don’t know. Perhaps he silently told me. After all, he did control time. It was hope. Not in it’s original form, but hope all the same. Slowly (just like everything else) he removed the letter. Now my hands were shaking. I began to feel as if this letter was mine. Jealousy began to course through me. I watched in agony as he fully removed the content and began to read.

What business did he have reading that letter? Oh how I did wish I knew what it said. I watched as a smile crept across his face half-way through. The more he read the brighter the smile grew. He finished the letter. I know this because he closed his eyes and sighed. I think he did so just to spite me. And then, when I thought my hatred for him could not grow more cold; he read the letter again.

The same immature smiling. The same arrogant closing of his eyes. The same prideful sigh. The fool! To think he could ruin my perfectly good day by simply reading a letter from some mystery person. He had indeed ruined my day. I watched as he propped up the letter, just to his right. And then he began to fill out some papers. For what, I do not know. But occasionally, he would glance over at that paper...and smile. 

March Seventeenth -A Poem

Today I went for a walk.

Eventually I found myself

In a peaceful little park.

The wind was blowing gently,

And I could hear the sound of

passing cars up the hill.

Just then a golden retriever 

runs up to me, wet from the small river.

She drops her slobbery tennis ball, asking to be pet. 

I oblige, because God knows I love dogs.

A second retriever walks in circles several feet ahead

Obviously chasing something invisible to humans.

A small, chirping bird flies just over me

landing on an abandoned fence post, the remains 

of which must have once been a boundary; yet no longer.

Beyond that fence, about a hundred yards perhaps

is a bench where two young lovers sit,

Watching the boy in the green shirt and small black helmet 

Ride past on his bike. One day he too

Will sit on that bench

With a beautiful, young lady.

God must love the colors green and blue.

And I suppose brown as well. The trees, the grass,

the sky. Perhaps those are the colors of Heaven. For surely today

I have caught a glimpse of that Celestial City though some small window. 

The Very Last Day: Real

Well here we are. Day 7. It's actually only an hour and 16 minutes into this day, but I'm not tired. I also have no idea what my 7th character trait is. I really had those 6 in mind, and I am struggling with #7. So, I will play the delay tactic for a while and tell you all that I got a care package from home today! It was so amazing...lots of candy. I was happy. :) Oh...and flinstones vitamins. I always wanted those but we always got the cheaper brand. I just had one and they were totally worth the wait. I can now die a happy man.

Okay....characteristic number 7. I have it. I actually had this one in mind before, I just forgot. Here goes...

REAL

Muahaha! This one is not self-explanatory which means you will have to read my post to find out what I mean. Wow. I am a sly one. :) However, I won't waste anymore of your time and we'll just get to the point. I have a lot of pet peeves. Getting wet. Loud noises. People touching me. Normal stuff like that. Those are probably my three worst ones that will bring out the worst in me. But the fourth is this. I hate fake people. Well...I don't hate them...cuz I'm not allowed to hate people. So...I greatly dislike that they are so fake. That's even too far. I don't know them, so I don't know if they are being fake. I hate the appearance of fakeness (not a word) in people. 

I'll help you understand this a little. Here at college we have singporation every Sunday night. It's a great hour of worship where about 1000 students come together for the sole purpose of worshipping Jesus. However, I often feel out of place, and here's why. This college is filled with emotional people. Now...I am extremely emotional in some senses, but not really in most. You can rarely find any emotion in me. Outside of my sister (after watching Marly and Me), I honestly don't remember the last time someone saw me cry. Ten years old maybe? No idea. I'm not proud of this. I just never cry. And when it comes to worship I'm not much different. I sing with all my heart, but outwardly, you wouldn't know. I'm not the type to raise my hands, clap, or really move anything but my lips. SOMETIMES I'll close my eyes. All around me are people weeping, lifting their hands, dancing, swaying back and forth, etc. I'll admit, this is a hard time for me because I'm trying really hard not to judge. But I sometimes wonder if this is really "real" to them at all, or if this is just a Sunday night fill up to get them through the week, and it's the only time they spend with Jesus. I fear this generation is so "emotionally" oriented, that we have forgotten the sweetness of being still, and knowing that He is God (Psalm 46:10). The time I feel closet to Jesus is by myself, quiet...just listening. I wish I had a "just listening" time every day, but sadly I'm not there yet. 

Sorry...that was a huge tangent. And I'm sure I didn't have to write all that for you to get the point. I'll give you two more quick examples though in case you missed it. First, drama-oriented people are NOT real. They live in their own little fake world blowing everything out of proportion. I'm sorry if you are one of these people. I'm not judging. I just feel bad for you. The last example is people who are hypocrites. I'm pretty sure everyone on this planet is a hypocrite to some extent. We act different around certain people (and that's not always a bad thing). But I'm looking for someone who knows who they are, and isn't ashamed of it. There aren't many people like that. But it's so refreshing when you do meet someone like that. They don't act differently around you "just because you are a boy". They don't pretend to be overly nice when with people they want to impress. They are just the same person all the time. The way I like to say it is "what you see is what you get." 

Now, I understand that there is room for being more timid around people you like, or just more awkward or whatever. But I'm talking about once you actually get to know the person. So there it is. In her praying, singing, speaking, and everything else...I want my wife to be real. No mask.

And so concludes my Top 7 Characteristics for a future wife. I do hope you know that there are so many many more...but that would have to be a yearly blog or something. :) So let's review. In my future wife I am looking for...

Modesty, Bible Addict, Traveler, Trustworthy, Submissive, Loving, and Real. The acronym would be 

"Start MLB" Hmmm....must be a sign it's time for baseball season. ;) So now the question arises...what if you could only have one of these? Well, for the answer to that question I would direct you to the last verse of 1 Corinthians 13. 

Hope you enjoyed this week of blogging, and thank you so much for all your wonderful comments!

James Knoop

Day 6: Loving

Okay...so here we are at day 6. I don't really have anything interesting to say before we get into the point of this so i'll just jump in.

Loving

I want a loving wife. Now...yes....i realize this is another one of those "duh" things. I don't know many guys that want a wife that hates people. If you do then you might need psychological help. I probably could use that kind of help, but at least not in this area. What I don't mean by this is just a wife that loves me. Yes...I want that, but I would hope that's obvious. I want a wife that loves other people. 

The greatest thing a man or woman can do in their lifetime is love. It is the single-most greatest thing we are called to do (Luke 10:27). God made humans to glorify (love) Him. Jesus died for us because He loves us. Jesus wants us to be with Him one day because He loves us. And he wants us to love other people just as much as we love ourselves because He loves them. Love. Love. Love. Love. If you aren't a hopeless romantic you will not enjoy the Bible. That's all It's about. 

Quite simply I want my wife to be someone who loves people with all the love she possesses. Someone once said "I'm not giving my heart to anyone but Jesus, if He wants to share it with others that's up to Him." Jesus did NOT say the greatest commandment was to love other people. LOVE GOD! Focus on loving God more than ANYTHING...more than loving your friends, spouse, kids, neighbor, or dog. If you love others more than anyone in history but do not love God....you are a failure. 

BUT...if you love God with all your heart, he WILL share it with others. If you give your heart 102% to God, then you will naturally love those around you. It's impossible to truly love God and not others. It is for this reason that I want my wife to be a loving individual. The world was made and saved by love. To not love is to not live. I could write a book on the subject of love but there's this bestseller that already came out on the topic. You may have read it. 

-1 Corinthians 13-

Day Five: Submissive

Okay....so whats up? You know what I like about Sundays? I dress up. I really enjoy dressing up, so I'm not sure why i never do. Well...let me clarify. I'm always dressy. I am very self conscious of what I am wearing...but I'm talking about button-up type dressing up. Well...that was my random thing for the day....on to the fifth characteristic of my future wife. Wait...before I go into that I just want to warn you that it MAY not be incredibly popular among females. So...let me know what you think (though I doubt it will change my mind anyway. :) )

SUBMISSIVE

Yup...I said it. :) Now is the part where you delete this page from your history so you don't even remember it. :) Go ahead...I understand. :) But for those of you still here, as always, I will explain myself.

Day 4 of "Future Wife Week": Trustworthy

Greetings fellow Earthians,
Welcome to Saturday. The day after Friday and the day preceding Sunday. What have I done so far today? Well....let me dig into my memory bank and try to remember. Ah yes. Not much. :) I woke up just before sunrise at 12:30 PM and ate my chewable kids vitamin, took a shower, and tried in vain to remove a stain from one of my favorite zip up hoodies. I've already spent more money on stain remover and the laundry than it is worth. Frustrating. I now have a cup of mac and cheese in my hand and I'm writing you. Okay...so the cup isn't literally in my hands...but I like the way that sounded. Enough of this jargon though....on to DAY FOUR.

Male Modesty???

Hey everyone...
someone recently asked me about what i thought about male modesty?
my answer is simple. I have no idea. :) This is for two reasons
1. I'm a guy so how am i supposed to know what isn't modest. I need girls to tell me.
2. Secondly, i don't even like wearing shorts, so i'm constantly in jeans (not tight) and a shirt (or more often a hoodie).
It's something i guarantee you guys NEVER think of. If girls find us immodest than that is a wake up call like crazy. Now...obviously if we walked around shirtless or something....which
1. i wouldn't do
2. dont have abs to show off anyway.
but other than that...its not like that many guys wear speedos swimming or anything. at least no one i know.
But....I wanna hear from the females out there. Do you find immodesty in guys?
OR...what is the one thing that turns you off the males the most. Modesty is mine for girls. What is yours for guys?

Leave comments and feel free to do so anonymously if you'd feel better that way.

Day 3 of "Future Wife Week": Traveler

Greetings fellow humans,

Welcome to the weekend. My weekends really start on thursdays but...yeah.

So, here we are at day three of future wife week, and i thought i'd tame things down just a tad. I've been going at the pretty serious stuff....so day 3 is gonna be a little more chill (i never say that word by the way).

So...on to characteristic #3 of my wife....

Traveler

Yes. My wife must be someone who loves taking vacations. On top of that she must be willing to be very "last-second" oriented. I grew up in a family that not only traveled all over the US, but we would do so based on last second decisions. We went on a three week train trip that we planned less than a month in advance i believe. 

Now, the reason I say this is not selfish...cancel that...its not ONLY selfish. Being a family that vacationed a lot is the #1 reason my family is so close i believe. We have driven half way across the nation without stopping. My brother, sister-in-law, sister-in-law's sister, actual sister, and I drove from Florida back to Minnesota without stopping for more than gas or McDonalds. 

Let me tell you something, you learn a thing or two about your siblings when you live in a little box for a long time. A LOT...let me stress this...a LOT of fighting takes place. :) But, those are some of my favorite memories. And the honest truth is that you grow very close because of it. You also begin to do random things. My dad had pastor's conferences in New York, and my sister and I would play a game where we would scratch the top of the other person's hands with our finger nails. We would do this until the other person quit. We also played a game where we would slap each other softly, getting harder and harder. The only person I've ever slapped is Rachel. :) But she won, because after she slapped me nearly as hard as she could my dad wouldn't let me slap her back. I'm still bitter about that one. 

The times my family has had hanging out at the Great Lakes, Pacific, Atlantic, and Gulf of Mexico beaches has been incredible. My brother's and I did a week hiking trip by Lake Superior (where we almost died cuz we ran out of water). I've been to Washington, California, Florida, and Maine, Mexico, and even though no one cares....Canada. :) 

The point is...my family is so tight because of all our trips. And so...it is my dear hope that my future wife wants to travel as well. 

PS. The picture is of London. The place I want to go more than anywhere on earth. 

Characteristic #2 Bible Addict

Well, here we are at future wife week, Day 2. Right now, I'm really roughing it as i write this post. It's sunny...a frigid 70 degrees with no clouds in the sky. :) I'm just sitting in front of the fountain in my khaki shorts, t, converse shoes, and sunglasses. I'll try to help set the scene...

Modesty Is Attractive

Okay...I know every girl reading this is probably sick of hearing about modesty. "That's all I ever hear!" Don't worry. This post is NOT about pointing the finger. I'm not going to tell you that you are immodest. I'm not even going to tell you to BE modest. It is my hope that this post will make you WANT to be modest. And remember...this is from a guy....the species you are trying to impress. ;)

Okay...let's jump right in, and make sure this thing doesn't get long. The question on your mind is

"My Future Wife" Week

Hey everyone! How are you on this bright winter's night? I have a splitting head ache, and I'm hating this no pop/meat/fires diet I'm on, and i'm having withdrawals from deactivating my facebook account. Other than that though...I'm doing awesome!!! :) Random thought of the day...why do we say "splitting" head ache? No idea. Mine actually isn't that bad. I just felt like complaining. But anyway...on to the point of this post....

Break Down These Walls

Break Down These Walls

Once upon a time, there was a human. You. 

-CHAPTER ONE-

Four walls. That’s all it takes. Four impenetrable walls. Thick as fog on a cold October’s morning. Haunting like the shadows under a full moon. Fiery red like a sword in the fire. You hate these walls. Four walls. A pity there are not more. Four comforting walls. Safe as an egg under the hen. Beautiful as ocean, the instant before the sun slips away. Pure white, like a bride on her wedding day. You love these walls. 

-CHAPTER TWO-

All your life they told you that these walls would protect you. They told you these walls would comfort you. They told you these walls kept out the evil, and held in the good. Liars. They were liars. Every last one of them. Every smile they smiled was a smile of death. Every laugh they laughed was a laugh of Hell. Every kiss they kissed was the kiss of betrayal. 

-CHAPTER THREE-

You knew. Someone you always knew.