Life with James, Entry Two, "College isn't what they said"

While it pains me to write to you on a second occasion in less that one week, i feel burdened to do so, that you might better understand my life. I will be brief, and simply tell you about my day. If at the end of this entry you still desire to attend a school of higher education... kudos to you.

The time was 9:45 when Nickleback reminded me that there has GOT to be somebody for me out there. I'll tell you what, there is nothing to start off a college freshman's day like knowing there is somebody out there for him. Well, that student was me, and I wasn't about to let that somebody slip away while I was still in bed. So, I got up, put in my contacts, cursed the sun for rising so early, and skipped happily to my first class. It was then that my day began to go...shall we say...downhill in the kind of way that a brick falls from the Eiffel Tower when it has been strapped to a rocket headed for earth. You see, as I skipped along like little miss Riding Hood, I realized that I had forgotten my key. No worries. After my roommate let me back in I reached for it and...it...was...not...there. AHA! An adventure!
The Case of the Missing Key. Perhaps this was a quiz from Cupid himself. If I could find the key to my room, Cupid would give me the key to some lovely (Christian) college woman's heart. And so the test began. You know those days in school when you have a test after lunch, and lunch was something you're allergic to, and you're face puffs up so bad you can't see, and so when you take your test you can't read the words, but your teacher makes you take the test anyway, and you get a zero because you couldn't see the words let alone circle the right answer, and you absolutely FAIL?! Well, that's how I did on Cupid's test. You guessed it. No key. Now, the tick tock of the clock was resounding loud in my eardrums as I realized that I would soon be late for a date with United States History. So, I left my room with no key, realizing I was locking myself out. After three hours of listening to my wonderful heritage, I ran to the cafeteria as fast as my tiny little legs would take me. Upon arriving I swiped my ID card, grabbed two pieces of pepperoni pizzas, drank a gallon of coke straight from the fountain, and ran to my next three hour theatre class. Upon arriving at the door of my class just on time, I took notice to a lovely piece of paper upon that door. It read the following. "I'm sorry. This class has been relocated to Theatre 21." How lovely. SO, I ran back across the campus, past the cafeteria, passed US History, passed my locked room, and into the dungeon of death. I opened the monstrous, black gateway to the underworld. Light streamed into the room, revealing a class staring at me in horror. The worst possible scenario had occurred. I was late. Twenty seven lashings later I sat in the back pondering what the wonderful world of Hamlet had anything to do with my utterly depressing life. Three hours later...I still had no idea. I left that class with a sigh of relief. My work was done. Now I was off to Choir auditions! I have an okay voice, right? So off I went. I walked into that room with confidence and came out with defeat. But who cares. I had a job interview lined up. This way work wouldn't conflict with choir. I walked into the waiting room for my job. That was when things got strange. There was a single wooden chair at the top of the stairs. I took in my surroundings like a good writer would. The ceiling was painted white. And by the paint job I would say it took the painter a good twenty seconds. I looked at the floor. The painter must have had some extra paint. Suddenly the door to the interview room opened. I stood to greet my interviewer with a smile. However, I barely had time to see the Asian girl as she flew down the stairs. A look of fright on her face. I did not understand this at first. But then I heard the cries from inside. Screams. Wailings. Interviews. I began to shake in my wooden chair. And then I heard the walls. If they were not speaking then my name is John Brown. Groaning, uttering of a long lost wall language began to pour from the cement walls like a low growl from a hungry lion. The door opened again. It was my turn. Surprisingly everything had been my imagination and the interview went quite well. But...the answer I got afterward was very similar to the answer I got from a beautiful young lady once. "Your a nice guy....but..."
Next we were taking a trip to the Angel's baseball game. WHile waiting for my bus, The weather was beastly hot. I was tired, my eyes hurt, and I needed more coke. None could be solved. We got on the bus and headed for Angel Stadium. Let the good times roll. Negative. Our bus driver was in the middle of the bus pack. All he had to do was follow the bus in front of him. Apparently that was too boring. We got lost. Four hours later we arrived for the 7th inning stretch. Thirty minutes later, after nothing had happened, we got back on the bus. Boy I had fun.
Upon arriving back at campus, I decided I would not let this day go to waste. I would have my favorite carmel frappe at the Biola Coffee shop. I rounded the last corner, and my drink of delight was in view. I began to salivate like a rabid squirrel. A love sick pony. A diving eagle, a old man at the dentists office. I reached for the door. A pretty young lady was reaching for the door as well. Our eyes met. Time stopped. Stringed instruments began to play. The world began to make sense. She smiled. My heart melted. And then she spoke to me the words that I will never forget.
"We're closed."
I fell to my knees in utter agony, fail, defeat. LIfe had lost all purpose. There was nothing left to live for. I might as well have on last coke and die. But then I heard my name. "James". It was the voice of a man, not a woman in distress, but maybe someone at least knew my name! I stood with what little strength was in me and looked toward the young man. His eyes seemed to be looking straight through me. Almost...passed me. Maybe into my soul. Maybe this was Gabriel the angel! I then heard something that just stunk. I heard James reply to Gabriel, and his voice was not my own. Sadly, I am not the only James on campus. So, I decided I would go to my room and drown myself. This was an excellent plan. I could not lose! I reached room 162 and pulled. Locked. Blasted!
Such was my day.