Frying Friday

Hey folks. So I'm really sorry that i keep writing these the morning of the next day. It's a visit weekend for my college, and since I'm an ambassador I haven't had a ton of time. Okay, i lied. I took a nap today, played madden, and watched you tube videos. I have no excuse. But it's here all the same. 


So in case you forgot, Friday is "recipe day". Today i bestow a recipe for you. Today's recipe is a MUST for that special holiday coming up in 8 days. You know what I'm talking about men. That's right. Valentines Day. Time to impress that significant other of yours in a way she did NOT expect. You guessed it. Cooking for her. 


Now now...before you freak out, let you put your mind to ease. This is a very simple recipe. However, if done right, will blow her taste buds away. Next thing you know...she's yours forever. Or...at least until next friday. But fret not...i'll have another recipe then. But for now, let's get to today's recipe.


"Chocolate turtle cheesecake". Not to brag or anything, but I am a master at this dish, and it has proved to bring the house down come dessert time. I've never had a girlfriend try it though because well...never had one but...you know that. Anyways...here are the steps to the best cheesecake your taste buds will ever....well....taste.


Phase 1: Gather all of your ingredients. Being:

2 c. ultimately smashed oreos
6 tbsp. butter, melted
1 (14 oz.) bag caramels
1 (5 oz.) can evaporated milk 

(Guys, this does NOT mean that you try to make the milk evaporate!!! You'll find this in the cupboard next to the soups).
1 c. chopped pecans
2 (8 oz.) pkgs. cream cheese 

(Make sure they are 8 oz. I added 4X too much cream cheese once. NOT a happy ending.
1/2 c. sugar
1 tsp. vanilla (for you guys who don't know...this is a liquid...NOT an icecream. It's the bottle in the fridge that you've never noticed before and smells awful).
2 eggs 

(The part INSIDE the shell).
1/2 c. semi-sweet chocolate pieces, melted

(This means you have to melt the chocolate chips yourself. Don't go searching the isles for melted chocolate chips. You won't find any).

Phase 2:

Congratulations, you got all your ingredients. Now comes the fun stuff. The actual cooking part. Follow these steps IN ORDER.

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

2. Melt the butter in the microwave until it is utterly melted.

3. Combine ultimately smashed oreos and utterly melted butter.

4. Bake this combination for 10 minutes and 12 seconds. 

5. In a 2 qt. sauce pan, melt caramels with milk over low heat. (on the stove...not in the oven). Stir frequently until its as smooth as a bald man's head. 

6. Pour this smooth concoction over the crust you previously made. 

7. Add pecans to smooth concoction.

8. Combine cream cheese, sugar, and vanilla. Mix them with an electric mixer and medium speed until well blended. If you don't have an electric mixer, buy one. If you don't have the money use a spoon and stir as fast as you can.

9. Add eggs (without shells) one at a time while mixing. 

10. Then blend in the melted chocolate chips.

11. Pour this entire bowl of deliciousness over the crust.

12. Bake at 350 degrees for 40 minutes.

13. Loosen cake from rim of pan; and let it cool down for a while before removing it from the pan.

14. Chill (this means putting the cake in the fridge...not you going downstairs and watching tv).

15. Add any additional toppings your little heart desires (more oreos, pecans, whipped topping, etc). 

16. Cut two pieces.

17. Sit down with your special someone.

18. Give her a piece of cake WITH A CARD.

19. Wink.

20. Eat.

PS. Be sure to leave comments on how this works out for ya. ;)