When Prayer Isn't The Answer

"If anyone sees his brother sinning a sin which does not lead to death, he will ask, and He will give him life for those who commit sin not leading to death. There is sin leading to death. I do not say that he should pray about that. All unrighteousness is sin, and there is sin leading to death." - 1 John 5:16-17

Recently, I talked about prayer and the confidence we can have in it. But what about this passage? Why would this sort of passage follow such an inspiring couple of verses?

It's because God has limits. These are not limits of His grace (though we may view it that way), rather limits to His tolerance of our earthly stay.

There are two kinds of sin according to John. Most biblical scholars will agree that John is not referring to two specific sins. As John Piper said in this sermon, John is not referring to murder as the sin which leads to death and a little white lie as the sin which does not. Rather, these two sins refer to how deeply rooted the individual is in that sin.

Here is an example of a sin which does not lead to death.

Your brother or sister in Christ cheats on his or her spouse. This is a massive sin. It's against God's design for marriage. It tears apart the picture of Jesus and His bride. It's just downright terrible. But…let's say the guilty party is extremely sorry. This person isn't sorry he or she was caught. The individual is truly sorry for the sin committed.

Then, they ask you for prayer. You lift them up to the Lord and beg that God would let that individual continue living to worship and serve Him.

After committing this terrible act, the husband or wife then gets on bended knee, admits the sin, begs forgiveness, admits the sin to the spouse, turns away from the sin and does everything in his or her power to rebuild trust in the marriage.

You were able to pray with confidence, because this sin was not going to lead to death, neither physical nor spiritual.

However, let's take the exact same scenario. This time, contrary to the previous example, this believer has a history of being unrepentant. He or she rarely apologizes for wrong-doing. You find out that this affair has been going on for some time. You are not approached by the individual for prayer. In fact, this person goes on with life as normal. Eventually,  a divorce occurs and the individual remarries. This person continues coming to your church, and perhaps is even a member of your prayer group. What are you to do?

As odd as this may sound. Prayer may not be the answer.

This is assuming a couple of things. Let's call this individual a male (so I don't have to keep saying he or she). I'm going to assume this man has been approached about his ongoing sin. Beginning in Matthew 18:15, Jesus gives the example of how to deal with a sinning believer in the church body. 1 Corinthians 5:13 states that if there is a believer in the church who refuses to stop walking in sin, "put away from yourselves the evil person." Paul goes so far as to tell them not to even sit down and have a meal with that person. In Jeremiah 7:16, God tells Jeremiah not to bother praying for the people of Israel because, "I will not hear you."

I will not hear you? I thought God heard all of our prayers?

Not necessarily.

John's entire first epistle has been about the way a believer should live day in and day out. There are warnings signs that show an individual how they may not be a believer if they live a certain way. He offers confidence to the true believer when he or she prays.

To the individual who ignores all of this instruction, there are two warnings.

First, you are not necessarily a believer, and you should examine yourself to see if you are in the faith (2 Corinthians 13:5).

Secondly, there is a point when God will stop hearing the prayers offered up for you, because you have chosen sin too happily above Him.

It's not a sin to keep praying for a believer who is living in sin, but there is no confidence. After all, it may be in the best interest of both the Gospel and that individual for God to orchestrate a car accident or cancer to take his life.

Think about it. The believer's purpose on this planet is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever. The believer living blissfully in sin is not glorifying God. On the contrary, he is daily dishonoring God and is a living detriment to the Christian faith. To pray that God would "bless him" or "give him a good day" or even "give him safety as he travels" may very well not be in anyone's best interest.

So what do you pray?

First of all, always pray as Jesus taught His disciples, "Thy will be done." That is most important.

Secondly, if you are unsure this individual was ever truly saved by the work on the cross, pray for his or her salvation.

Lastly, pray for yourself and those around this individual, that the Lord would lead you and them in how you ought to interact with this person. Perhaps the Lord would have you retell the Gospel to them - to make sure they weren't "saved" into an untrue, prosperity gospel. Perhaps he would have you avoid them, like in 1 Corinthians. Perhaps He would have you give your time and energy elsewhere.

And above  all, examine yourself, to you make sure you are in the faith.