How To Be An Un-Boring Christian

Let me begin with several quick thoughts. First of all, my title is grammatically horrid. Secondly, thanks to all of you who read and commented on my blog. I appreciate all comments, even ones that don’t agree with me. :) Lastly, before I begin this blog you should realize something about me. As I mentioned in my previous blog I am a proud man. However, you should also know that I am extremely stubborn (German), and I don't really care if people agree with what I write or not. Now, the latter two of these may easily be mistaken for pride, though I assure you that they are not. I am working on becoming humble, but I'm quite content with being stubborn until the day I die. :) So, if I come across arrogant or prideful, just dismiss it...it's not personal. I sometimes just get excited about a subject and exaggerate it to make a point. I assure you that I love you as a person, and let's hit up a movie next week, okay?

I would like to apologize for the length of my last post. It was meant to be short, and it was anything but. I will try to be more sensitive in this one, but I will make no promises. The point of this blog is to bring an upside to my last blog. My last post was solely about how American Christians are boring. This blog is about how to not be a boring American Christian, but one on fire for the Jesus Christ. Let me begin by talking about the comments I received.

1) One person said, "Because our culture is so accepting of people's 'religious views', it should give us the courage to be all the more bold in our faith." This is a very interesting thought. With so many new immigrants coming to America, we are becoming a nation of many religions. So much so, that our new president told the American people that, "We are not longer a Christian nation." Breaks my heart. To some extent I agree with the idea of America being open to new religions. Because, we are still a nation with freedom of religion. However, I don't think people have changed all that much in how tolerant they are with different religions. Sitcoms still make fun of different religions, as does regular conversation. I believe the greatest reason that it seems other religions are being "accepted" is because Christianity is being attacked. I don't see how one can argue this. It's evident all over. After all, we are just a bunch of rednecks who "cling to (our) guns or religion." I may be wrong (rare), but I really don't think America is at all accepting of Christians. The problem is, once in a while a movie like "Blindside" comes out which is semi-fair to Christians, and we jump on it as proof that America is tolerant of us. First of all, if you are satisfied with America being just "satisfied" with Christianity, your priorities are way messed up. So is it an advantage that we are religiously free? Not in my opinion. You see, the US is no longer a Christian nation, but our faith is still allowed. We're stuck in a lukewarm bucket of tolerance.

2) Another comment I received mentioned that we should witness in relationships...not in 5 minute "Do you know Jesus" conversations. I completely agree, BUT obviously I won't leave it that easy. If you have an unbelieving friend, he'll see you living a dynamite Christ-like life. He'll like what you have-the peace, the hope, and the love. After a couple of years he may even become a Christian. But what if he dies before your life convinces him? My simple point, a relationship involves talking. So, don't just let your life lead him to the Lord. Tell him about Jesus all the time. Tell him what He's doing in your life. And you better be letting Him do amazing things or you'll be a pathetic witness. But what about those 5 minute "Do you know Jesus" conversations? "Of course not!" you say. After all, what is a bigger turn off than a nerdy kid holding his Bible in the school hallway trying to witness to the basketball point guard? But here's a thought. When that nerdy kid gets to Heaven, what do you think God will tell him?

"You stupid human! He would have believed in Me if you hadn't done that stupid 5 minute witness session!"

I doubt it. I'm thinking more along the lines of "Well done thou good and faithful servant."

The world needs to hear about Jesus, and God can use 5 minute witnessing from nerds.

3) I also received a comment telling me it's actually not about being a rebel or just being different, but about following Jesus, because if we follow Jesus we WILL be different. I'm sorry if you took what I said wrong. That is what I meant. Obviously we don't always have to be rebels. Our nation began as an amazing Christ-following nation. We had major problems too, yes, but we wanted to do the will of God. To rebel from that would be idiotic, stupid, and not at all helpful to Christianity. But we are no longer that same nation. So, following Jesus has BECOME different, almost rebellious. 

4) I got one comment from someone who didn't agree with me at all. Thank you so much for that comment, because I'd love to address what you disagreed with. This person said that they "couldn't disagree more about praying for persecution", and that is was "totally unbiblical." I am confused by this slightly, because I thought I used enough Scripture to prove my point. I won't repeat them all, but let me refresh our memories. Philippians 1:29 says, "For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake." It has been GRANTED. Mr. Webster says that "grant" means to "allow fulfillment of." 2 Timothy 3:12 says "Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution." So, I'm not Einstein, but if the Bible says we WILL suffer and we don't, pretty sure something is wrong. Lastly, In Matthew 5:11 Jesus says, "Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake." Well, why can't we have this blessing too? Like I said, I appreciate this comment, but I don't understand how it can be unbiblical to ask for persecution when the Bible makes it look so appealing! If anyone has a problem with this, please attack me with Scripture (common sense won't convince me).

5) The final comment (which brings me to the point of this blog) was this:

"Very interesting thoughts, now my question for you is how are you going to put this into application? I don't think it's a very real expectation to be martyred in America, unless maybe you're doing inner city ministry... but I certainty like the fearless attitude to act as if you were."

It's very true. America isn't exactly the #1 country in the world for getting persecuted. And please don't misunderstand me. I thank God all the time for this. I love living in America. We are the greatest nation on earth. We are free, rich (and don’t think we aren’t rich because the economy is bad...if you have food, you are rich), and you can become whoever you want if you're willing to work for it. So if we are "supposed" to be persecuted, what can we do?

Well, you could start with waving a Bible above your head in China. :) 

Yes. I am exaggerating. The point of being a Christian is not to just get killed (sorry if I've come across that way). 

Let me try to give you an example of what I'm talking about. Let's talk football (sorry if you're not into sports). Let's say your name is Bret Favre (what an honor!). Your coach worked really hard to get you on his team. He took extreme ridicule just so that you could be his quarterback. No one else thought you deserved the position, but coach asked you to join anyway. A couple of months later, you are in Super Bowl 44. If you had two options, which would you choose? 

1. You hand the ball off every play to Adrian Peterson because it is safe, and you don't have to worry about getting hurt. He's the best running back in the NFL so it's not like what you're doing is wrong, right?

2. You put everything on the line. After all, Coach put everything on the line for you. Why shouldn't you do the same? The game comes down to the wire. There are 5 seconds left. You get the snap. Drop back. Scramble. Percy Harvin has his man beat deep. You pump fake to Bernard Berrian, and take a step forward to launch it deep to Harvin. Just as you release the ball, Daniel Muir from the Indianapolis Colts defensive line smacks you helmet to helmet. The ball sails straight into the arms of your receiver for a touchdown. The hit you received sends you to the ground, and you have to be carted off the field. You never play another game, but because you were willing to give it all for your team and your coach, you are a Super Bowl champion. 

Now, this may not be the best example, but hopefully it helps. 

You know it's interesting, another comment I received informed me that the early church had problems with people WANTING to be martyred. Do you think these people just hated their life and thought this would be a cool way to "go out?" No. I don't even know what to say about it. Were they "too" passionate? Is God going to punish them for not staying alive? Now, I don't think you have to go try to die. But I honestly think that if nobody hates you, there's got to be a problem. This world isn't Godly anymore. 

Okay, I believe I have officially kicked this topic to death, thrown it over Niagara Falls, stabbed it through, and blown it up. If you don't get the point now...you probably just skipped to this paragraph. 

So, you'll be glad to know we're almost done. I am going to finish with giving you three examples of what a un-boring Christian could look like.

1. (An Un-Boring "American Christian). This is someone who decides not to leave the greatest nation on earth. God does not call everyone to leave their home. If he did, then there wouldn't be such a thing as home. Everyone would be traveling and there would be no one to witness to cuz they'd be traveling too. So, how do you live a persecuted life for Christ in an un-persecuted America? It's actually incredibly easy. Only 1 step. Be willing to be persecuted. I can almost guarantee that if you are willing to be persecuted, that you will be. Now, you don't have to ASK for persecution, but Jesus said the person who is persecuted is blessed, so it may not be a bad idea. What does this mean for you? Let's say you have a nice job. High pay. Let's say your business asks you to compromise one tiny area of your faith. Don't agree. "But if I don't, I'll be out of a job, and my family will suffer!" Oh, yeah, you're probably right. It is definitely a smart idea to put your family before God (note the sarcasm used). The same goes for school. If you are popular, you are going to have unbelieving friends (most likely even if you aren't). If your friend keeps using God's name in vain, tell him/her to shut up! "But he won't be my friend anymore!" 

Let me ask you a question. What would you do if your best friends made fun of your dad every other sentence? And if that doesn't apply to you for whatever reason, fill "dad" in with the person you most care about. What if your friends talked smack about this person all the time? Would you tolerate that? At the very least you would ask them to stop! I guarantee that! But we don't. We let them make fun of our Savior all the time. We do nothing about it. How are our friends supposed to believe that our faith is a "relationship" when we don't care what people say about our "best friend"? These are just two examples of an un-boring American Christian. I'm sure there are better examples, but this should be enough to get your thinking.

2. (An Un-Boring Missionary Christian #1) This is someone who is a missionary in a country where it's legal to be one. Two thoughts come to mind for this scenario. First of all, if you're a missionary, it means that these people already have a religion. They worship someone besides the true God. Maybe it's the sun, Buddha, Allah, etc. Usually, not every single person in a village is thrilled to see his people losing their faiths. How would YOU feel if some guy/girl came to your town/city and started convincing all of your friends and family that Jesus was just made up? If someone was starting to convince my sister to waiver in her faith, I'd give HIM some persecution. So, you will probably get persecuted that way. If you don't, why not persecute yourself? I'll explain. All I mean by this is give 101% in everything you do. Don't accept any money for what you do. Give it all away to those in need. "But that's stupid!" Yeah, it's definitely idiotic to "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." If you haven't realized this yet, following Jesus isn't about "making sense to the world". This last idea works for an un-boring American Christian, as well as my last option.

3. (An Un-Boring Missionary Christian #2) This is someone who takes my advice to the extreme, and spreads the Word in a place that will most likely get them killed. I don't know what all places this includes. I should find out. :) China for sure, but I know there are many more. Possibly even in America in certain areas. I think what these people do is pretty obvious. Preach the Word, live for Jesus, and try to stay alive doing it. Notice I didn't say "trying to get killed." After all, the longer you stay alive. the more you can lead to Jesus! But, everyone dies, so why not die with a Bible in your hand in a place where it's illegal?!

Conclusion. I was told in a speech class to never say "in conclusion". When one does so, people's thinking minds automatically shut off. So just stick with me for a little longer. 

I was recently asked what these idea I have been writing mean to me. How am I supposed to suffer when I am going to a $40,000 college, and studying English to be a High School english teacher? Simple answer. I have no idea. Right now I'm just praying. In all honestly, I thought about the idea of dropping out of school. That would bring about persecution for sure, because Mom would kill me. :) But seriously, why not go to another country right now? I'm pretty sure I know enough about my Savior to tell others about him. "But I'd run out of money and food?" Sure would! And then I'd be suffering! 

Now don't think I'm trying to make you look up to me or something. If I were, I'd be on a plane right now for China. As it is, I'm still planning on four years of college. All these posts have been, are thoughts. Just a lot of maybes. BUT...they are maybes that I'm not just "getting out of my system". I am praying for God's guidance, and I hope you are as well. If God has suffering and persecution in my future, I'd love for Him to show me what to do. 

If God wants me to be a wealthy teacher, and the greatest suffering He has in store, is not getting the promotion I deserve, I will thank Him. 

If He wants me to be a missionary on very limited income, I will thank Him. 

If He wants me to die one year from now with a Bible in my hand, I'll thank Him (in Heaven). 

But whatever happens, there are three things I need. 

1. I need Jesus.

2. I need suffering.

1. I need to hear my Savior say, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant, enter thou into the joy of the lord."

So here we are. Your eyes are tired, your mind is spinning (hopefully), you've finished four bowls of popcorn, and your coca cola is long gone. What do you take away from this? I'll skim it all down to 5 things.

1. Wanting to suffer does not mean "trying" to suffer, but rather accepting it with joy when it comes.

2. One does not have to leave the country to suffer, just his front door. 

3. Ask for persecution.

4. Read your Bible (this seems random, but how are you supposed to know God's will if you don't listen to what He has to say?).

5. Philippians 4:11

Thank you for reading. The LORD bless you, and keep you. The LORD make his face shine upon you, and be gracious unto you. The LORD lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace. 

James Knoop

Matthew 5:14

Christians Are Boring

Okay...before I dive into this let me say something. I realize I'm a fallen sinner. I do not claim everything I have written as truth, because I claim nothing but Scripture as complete truth. But...if you find fault with my writings, prove it to me by Scripture. And if you make it all the way through, please leave me a comment or shoot me an email or message on facebook or whatever. I would love to talk to you about the subject and hear your input on the matter.
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Let my first remark be to say that "Christianity" is not boring. With that said, let us begin.
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Christians are boring. Let that sink in for a second. Most likely you cannot. "No I'm not!" you say.
Yeah, that's what most say. That's what I said. And when I say "said", I don't mean I alone received a vision on the topic, but I obviously think differently since I'm writing this blog. 
Now, I have a tendency to write a lot...a LOT...when I am excited about a topic. With that knowledge about my self, I will try to scrape off all the jargon (love that word) from this post, and give you only the meat off the bone. However, if you are still hungry you can chew on the bone for a very long time before it's gone (I have no idea if that visual helps you at all).
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So...right to the point. Christians (myself included....as always) have made Christianity out to be extremely boring, and it is no wonder that our friends don't want to become Christians. From the very beginning (birth of Jesus) Christianity has been about a rebellion. To steal the idea from *Lecrae*, Jesus was a rebel. For thousands of years the Jews had been set in their ways and then BAM, one man comes and says things are gonna be different. Do you know why the Jewish leaders hated Jesus so much? Because of what he taught? Somewhat. But I think it mostly had to do with pride. All eyes (which had been on the priests) suddenly turned to Jesus, because he was different. He was going against the grain.
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Christians today are not going against the grain. At all. What is the most radical thing you have ever done for Jesus (this question directed mostly at myself). Preached in church once maybe? Helped at a VBS? Worked at camp? And maybe....MAYBE even worked up the courage to talk to someone about Jesus. Maybe. It strikes me funny how we have entire conferences devoted to teaching young men and women how to tell their friends about Jesus. Personally I like Jonah's technique.
"Repent or you're gonna burn!"
You scoff at this and say, "Well that would never work, and they would hate me (and Christians) if I said that. I have two things to say to that. 
1) It worked rather well for Jonah. Ninevah was just about the most evil place on the planet and the entire city turned from their wicked ways. 
2) Do you know why Ninevah repented? Because it didn't matter what Jonah said. God is the one who changes hearts. I could take this point to go into why I'm a Calvinist, but I'll save that for later. But I think most people agree that God is the ultimate one at work through salvation. 
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Now...I don't want this to distract from my main point by people asking me if this is really the ONLY way to tell others about God. Yes. Christianity is about grace, love, and forgiveness. Try to stay on my main point. All I mean by this is that it's not about the way you say it.
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Christians have forgotten that it's God who does the saving...NOT the person telling their friends about God. Not you. 
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Read Matthew 10:19 or Luke 12:11. These verses deal with persecution, but sadly relate to us today as we are more afraid of hurting our reputation than the early church was of getting burned in hot oil, or burning at the stake. Read 1 Corinthians 2:1. Who do we look to more to than Paul in the New Testament (besides Jesus), and he wasn't a spokesman. Who do we praise in the Old Testament? Moses! He hated talking to people. He was so afraid of talking to Pharaoh that God had Aaron do the talking for Moses. 
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As my acting professor says often..."It's not about the words!" Life is not about words. If it were I'd feel really bad for the mute. Life is about actions. Paul wasn't an eloquent speaker, and his works still brought (and are currently) bringing thousands to Christ. I'm pretty sure if his works weren't doing much that he wouldn't have gotten his head cut off for what he was doing. Moses wasn't the bravest man on earth. He was definitely more brave than most give him credit for, but all the same. He didn't want to go to Pharaoh, and he did very little talking when God finally "convinced" him to go. BUT...he did indeed go. And God used Moses to be the leader of the largest event in Israel's history. 
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There are two things I find extremely......odd. The first I already mentioned.
1) We have entire conferences devoted to witnessing. 
2) We pray for the persecuted church.
Let me explain...
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Christ told us that in this world we would have persecution (John 16:33). We are told many other times that life is about suffering (James 1:2-4, Romans 8:16-17, 1 Peter 4:12-14, 2 Corinthian 12:9-10).  Now, since I know many of you won't look up those verses I'll put a couple on here.
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Philippians 1:29 says, "For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake." I want you to notice a little word in that verse that never ceases to blow my mind. "granted."  Paul says that is has been GRANTED that we suffer. Paul is like the drive-thru banker who not only gives you the money for you check but also says, "not only am I giving you this money, but here's a free sucker." (The story behind that is I loved going to the bank for free suckers when i was little....and still). 
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What would you say if someone offered you an amazing job with the stipulation that you would get flogged every day before work, and burned in oil before you left? That was rhetorical by the way. But Paul gives this offer with a completely sincere smile.
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If you are not 100% committed to following Jesus than do not read this next verses. 
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"But you have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, love, perseverance, persecutions, afflictions, which happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra—what persecutions I endured. And out of them all the Lord delivered me.  Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. "
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Paul mentions 9 things which Timothy has "followed" about him. How many of them have to do with what Paul said? None. He mentions doctrine which COULD be what he said directly, but most likely refers to planned/thought out writings. 
But the thing about this passage that will hopefully change your life, is verse 12. I'll repeat it.
"Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. "
Let me ask you a question. Have you ever suffered for Jesus Christ? Don't answer yes without thinking about it. I'm talking about real suffering. Not "Johnny won't be my friend anymore" kind of suffering. I know I haven't. Not even close.
Let's read some more verses.
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2 Corinthians 4:8, "We are afflicted in every way." Are you? I'm not.
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1 Peter 4:12-14, "Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. On their part He is blasphemed, but on your part He is glorified."
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What is the first thing that we pray when we feel like we are suffering?
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"God! Why? Why are you letting this happen? There must be a purpose!"
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That is a good question, but also one that was already answered a....couple thousand years ago. Peter is basically saying "Why are you surprised that you're suffering?" Suffering is just kinda "the thing" for Christians. When your friend asks you what you want to do, don't say "I don't know." Next time try, "Let's get into some serious suffering." Tell me what reaction you get.
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We are told to REJOICE in suffering. We are told that suffering brings blessing. We are told the Spirit of God rests upon the persecuted. And we are told that we shall receive glory. GLORY. If there is anything in this world that I am looking for, it boils down to about three things.
1) Love (which I have already found)
2) Answers (which I will ask till the day I die)
and
3) Glory
I am not a humble man. So badly do I want glory. Glory in the life I live. Glory in the way I die. And glory in the way I am remembered. This verse promises me that glory I so desire. Though, all glory that i receive is ultimately given right back to God. Glory rarely comes in the form of an easy life. Tell me a movie you've seen where the glorious character is a bum. My favorite characters are from Gladiator, Brave heart, Lord of the Rings, 300, etc. To put it simply...they were not bums.
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I love 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. Paul is speaking about a conversation with Jesus (probably in a vision).
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"And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecution, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
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Now, I don't want to take this verse out of context. Paul is talking about a "thorn in his flesh". Some speculate that this was a physical disability or illness that Paul had. So in verse 8, Paul begs God three times for this "thorn" to be taken away. God replies that Paul is better with it. The reason I have not taken this verse out of context is because Paul uses God's words and transfers them into every area of his life. Paul decides that not only his infirmity, but everything "bad" that happens to him (persecution included) makes him stronger. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Anything Satan throws at you, God can use for good. And since he knows that, Paul says that he will "take pleasure in it." Amazing.
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So let me sum this up so far. Early Christians not only suffered greatly, but they were used to it. And not only were they used to it, they counted it an honor and joy to do so.
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Now I know what you're thinking. "I...I...well I'm not afraid to suffer. I...well see...I just don't want my friends to get the wrong idea about Christianity."
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Let's go back to the Scriptures.
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In Matthew 5:11 Jesus says, "Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake."
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Do you think Jesus would have said this if He expected people to accept our words with a joyful smile? Doubt it. 
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In John 15:18-19 Jesus says, “If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you."
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If you didn't believe Paul earlier, Jesus says it too. Suffering is a guarantee...NOT a possibility.
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So the question arises, "Why are we NOT suffering?" The answer is found in the verse I just gave to you. Jesus said that the world would hate us because we "are not of the world". Time to wake up folks.
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The reason we are not hated by the world is because we ARE of this world. 
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Now, I have zero problem with "NOTW" apparel. I was just on their site today. But you know the funny thing about it? All it is...is emo clothing with the word "God" or "Truth" or something on it. Once again, I have no problem with it, and I think it's a great ministry, but I also think it helps my main point. Christians are boring. But why be creative? Let's steal mainstream clothes ideas and put "Christian" words on them! Let's get a green shirt that used to say Sprite, and make it say "Spirit!" That'll bring people to the foot of the cross for sure!
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I seriously can't believe they sell that stuff in Christian book stores. What a joke. Once again, don't boycott your local bookstore if they sell these. Just making a point. Look at our Music. "Christian" music used to mean that the lyrics would lead you to Jesus Christ. Not anymore. Now, it's anything that doesn't blaspheme Him. Example: "Daughtry". GREAT band. But please...why is he in the Christian music department? My favorite band in the world is Switchfoot. They are all Christians, and were under a Christian label for a long time, and did not like it. Why? Because they weren't Christians? No. Because they didn't feel that their lyrics were worthy of the label "Christian". They don't just sing about Jesus. They sing about politics and love also. One big reason they worked so hard to be independent was to be free from being under a Christian label. Kudos to Switchfoot.
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The word "holy" means "set apart". Christians are striving to be holy right? We are "not to be conformed to the ways of this world". But we could ask for nothing more. When I look around me all I see is a desire for conformity. My brothers and sisters in Christ are seeking every single way in which they can be a Christian yet be JUST like their unbelieving friends. I'm about to make a comment that may lose me some friends, but I believe it's true. Feel free to quote me in your gossip circles.
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If you go to a public school and are popular, you are probably not living for Jesus.
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Now, there are exceptions. Jesus could be doing great things through you, and leading others to Christ. If so...good for you. But...I doubt it.
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You want to know the two biggest reasons I hear over and over against Christians?
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1) "I don't see a difference."
Few things should strike terror into a Christian more than this. Remember what I said about "Holy"? 
Set apart. The opposite of this says that if we are NOT set apart we are "unholy". When a person whose eyes have not been opened to Christ looks at us they should only think one thing.
"I HATE that person!"
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You should have way more enemies than you have friends. I asked the question earlier, "why are we praying for the persecuted church?". Well, it's good to pray for them, but not the way we have been. We always pray that God would protect them. 
Why? 
To ask for protection would be to rob them of the suffering and persecution that they have been granted. Maybe we should start praying that God would grant that they might suffer greatly for the sake of the cross. Put "maybe" aside. We SHOULD be praying this. 
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We often thank God for living in a free country where we can worship freely. I too am thankful to God for living in the greatest country on earth. But...maybe we should add a little to that prayer. 
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"God thank you for this free country where I can worship freely...but I'd appreciate it if you'd send someone into my life who hates me and wants to hurt me." This sounds humorous, but I'm completely serious. Do you want to know where Christianity is growing the quickest? Where it's outlawed. Christianity is growing like a wildfire where people get killed if they believe it. You want to know what country is declining rapidly in Christians? The United States of America. Why? Because Americans have made Christianity look extremely boring.
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The second reason unbelievers give for no being interested in Christianity is
"It's just about rules."
Sadly, this is true, and it goes hand in hand with not being able to see a difference. You see, the only difference unbelievers DO see in us is our rules. It's so sad because it's NOT about rules...at all. But Christians obsess over rules. We have entire conferences devoted to whether or not dating is right, and "how far" to go in a dating experience. What a waste of time and money. Maybe if you read your Bible once in a while you'd figure it out. 
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Now, if you take the two reasons the world isn't interested, you can boil it down to one thing.
1) Christians in America are boring!
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I've never heard anyone make fun of a Chinese Christian, or a believer in Korea. Why? Because they are DIFFERENT. I don't make fun of the terrorist who ran into the trade towers. You know why? I'm not bitter at them for attacking my country. I'm mad at Satan who has betrayed them by telling them what they believed was right. To be honest, I greatly respect those men who attacked me. They believed in something with all their heart, and gave their life for it. They didn't care what people thought about them, or what happened to them, because they "knew" what they were doing was right. What great, misled men. 
~
In my fallen mind, it's a shame they aren't the ones making it to Heaven, when we American "Christians" sit in America complaining that a movie just came out making fun of Christians. Well, to be brutally honest there is a lot to make fun of! It's sickening! Christians are swearing/cussing, having sex outside of marriage, divorcing, lying, cheating, stealing, lusting, back-talking, and hating at the same rate as everyone else. You know why? It's because we are trying to get as close to "the line" as we can without sinning...and then we trip.
~
You know what happens when you go to the edge of a cliff and you trip? 
You fall and die. 
One of the saddest things Christians do is make fun of conservative Christians. Oh how we are breaking 1 Thessalonians 5:11! 
~
"Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing." 
~
I am more guilty than many in this area. How often do we make fun of the family who makes their boys wear nice shirts and ties all the time, and makes the girls wear dresses? Oh how I wish I were more conservative! Every day I try to become more conservative in some way. Here's why:
If you go to the edge of a cliff and you trip...you die.
BUT
If you stay far far away from the cliff to begin with, and you trip...
you are still far away from the cliff.
~
An easy concept, but not easily practiced. I respect conservative families so very much. They are actually DIFFERENT. In a small way yes, but all the same they are set apart. 
~
You see, all we have ever been taught in church is that Christianity is about faith and not about works. FALSE!!!!!
False.
False.
False.
~
Have you never read the book of James?! Try reading James 1 and 2 and saying Christianity is not about works. Now, do works save us? No. Of course not. But just like suffering is a given to ours lives, so are works. James says that faith without works is dead. Another way he could have said this is that faith without works is pointless.
~
Have you ever walked on a treadmill? If so, when you walk, how far do you get? Nowhere. What if you walk REALLY hard, flailing your arms like a drunk speed walker? Still nowhere. That's what it's like to be a Christian without works. You are still in fact a Christian, but you're getting nowhere. I feel as if Christians have become afraid of works with all this anti-works preaching. If becoming a Christian was just about being "saved", then why wouldn't God just kill us and get it over with?
I can just see it. 
"Jesus...please come into my heart."
*BAM* Lightening bolt from God and you're in Heaven. 
~
God wants us to DO things for him. Christianity is the only religion which leads to eternal life. It's also the only religion that's not doing anything about it. Muslims are crashing planes, Buddhists are giving up all desires of the flesh, and Hindus go on pilgrimages. 
~
Christians attend Bible Study sometimes when they aren't at track practice, because their parents make them. In my opinion, other religions have just about everything going better than us except for their Theology. Why aren't we going on pilgrimages, fasting, and living in caves to better experience God? People notice those things. I recently did a study on world religions. Siddhartha Gautama (Buddha) was born an extremely wealthy prince. There was nothing that he lacked except the knowledge of evil. When he discovered this knowledge he sought answers. He left the comforts of home and went on a journey to find these answers. It was then that he received his revelation. After receiving his knowledge of Nirvana, he gave up all earthly desires for his faith. His life became about giving up everything of himself, all earthly desires, for what he believed in. 
~
Does that sound familiar to you? Sounds a lot like Christianity to me. The truth is, Siddhartha was not far from the Kingdom. After his death, Siddhartha's followers changed a lot of things. Siddhartha never desired to be worshipped. 
~
Now, don't worry. I'm not turning Buddhist. What I'm saying is that we need to learn from these "wrong" religions. We must take the good they have, and add it to our faith. We have Jesus, but they have so many of the things Jesus talked about. 
~
Christians need to stop sending missionaries to other countries. Other countries understand what it means to take up their cross. America is in need of some missionaries. Maybe we could get some people from China in our arenas speaking about how awesome it is to live every day of your life under the threat of death. 
~
You think we have it easy as Christians here in America? You're wrong. The hardest country on earth to be a Christian in is the United States of America. Why? Because it's easy. 
When you wake up in your American bed you pray, "God help me take up my cross," and then you go to school with all your unbelieving friends who think you are the coolest kid on earth.
When you wake up in your Chinese bed you pray, "God help me take up my cross," and then a police officer walks in the door and puts a gun to your head asking you if you're a Christian. You smile and whisper a silent "thank you." 
~
People in America turn to God because they had too much fun and got in trouble. 

People in China turn to God to have some fun getting in trouble. 
~
Oh God! Please let America has some fun too!
~
I don't know how often I hear Christians say they are scared of "what their friends will think." 

My first thought is, "who gives a *alternative word*.
My second is this: If you really want to be respected by your friends. Die. 
It's that easy. Go find some guy with a gun in a dark alley. Tell him about Jesus. BOOM. You're in Heaven and you're friend back here is thinking, "Wow. He was actually serious."
~
You want to know why the polls show that America has more Christians than there seems to be? Because most of them aren't Christians. I think our revivals should only consist of preachers who warn people that if they become a Christian they will most likely get skinned alive. There would be much fewer converts, BUT they would be sincere about following Jesus. 
~
Everyone is trying to make Christianity look like this Barbie doll religion where everyone is happy happy all day long. It's not. There is pain. Hurt. Suffering. We are called to give up everything. Never look back. Though none go with me, still I will follow. How far we have strayed.
~
I want you to think of the best friend you have right now who is not a Christian. Realize this right now before it's too late. They are going to Hell! Hell. Where they will burn in the Lake of Fire, tormented day and night for eternity. But most importantly, they will be unloved and alone. They will think all day long how they wished they would have come to Jesus. And they will curse you for not telling them.
~
So stop you whining about "what they will think of you." Give it your best shot. Maybe al that will come out is:
"Uh...so I'm a Christian and going to Heaven but...uh....you aren't."
God can use that.
~
The saddest thing is that you probably won't even do that.
~
Everybody loves a rebel. Everybody loves a radical. Everybody loves a martyr.


American Christians are none of these.

Hawaii

Note from Author:

I wrote this story several years ago, and its kinda cheesy, but if you are in the mood for a cheesy romance (and a break from my usually dark writing), maybe you’ll like this. Enjoy......

Chapter One:                                             

“Dude, just say hi. Or are you too shy to even do that?”

   Mark shrugged. “It’s not that I’m shy man. She’s just...”he paused.

He looked across the sanctuary where Rachel was standing.

“You think she’s even noticed me?”

  Jordan ran his fingers through his hair.

“Dude, you’ve gone to the same church for seventeen years. Which I’ll remind you is your whole life. You’ve gone to the same school for eleven years. My guess, she’s noticed you.”

  “Then why has she never said hello? Huh? Why should I go for a girl who won’t even say hi to me?”

 Jordan stared at Mark. 

“Have you ever said hello to her?”

“No.”

“Then maybe she’s thinking the same thing about you.”

“Never thought of that.”

Ralph (The Very Short Boy)

The First Chapter:
Once upon a time there was a little boy named Ralph. Ralph was not like most little boys.
He was very different. You see, Ralph was only one foot tall. He had arms like you and me. He had a head, and a nose, and feet and toes. He was just very small. Ralph had three friends, Harry, Marcus, and Bob. They never made fun of him for being short, but everyone else did. Some days Ralph would be so discouraged with their teasing that he would run into the forest, raise his arms to the sky, and cry,
"Why!? Why am I so small!"

Chapter Two:
Around that time, there was an evil man who would ride his horse with seven other men around the country. I do not mean that each man rode on a horse next to him. They actually all rode the same horse. Although I will admit, the horse was very big. These eight evil men would ride from village to village, setting houses on fire, and shooting everyone they saw. The seven partners' names were John, Jon, Jonathan, Jonny, Johny, Jonnie, and Patrick. But his name...his name was Excalibur.

Chapter Three:
It was the worst of times. All the the villages in the land had been plundered. All but Albertsville, where Ralph lived. The town waited anxiously for the raiders to plunder the place they called home. Excalibur and his associates came in the dead of night. The village was asleep. Ralph was wakened to the sound of screams, and the smell of burning houses. They had come. Ralph jumped to his feet.
"I thought we'd have more time." he said.
But evil does not wait. It strikes when you least expect it. Ralph ran out his front door. The village was aflame like something that is very much on fire. People ran in the streets like a mob breaking into a McDonalds after discovering that it held the last winning sticker to their Monopoly game.
Ralph sighed deeply. This village needed a hero.
Ralph ran inside, grabbed the largest piece of rope he could hold, and ran into the street to meet the very large horse, holding the eight evil riders. He ran straight for the horse, which was running straight for him.

Chapter Four:
Fear struck Ralph, for every other man who approached the horsemen was struck to the ground by the edge of a sword. But then Ralph realized something, he was too short for even the men's arms to reach. And so he ran with all his might. And as he reached the horse, Ralph extended the rope. The horse's right leg ran straight into the rope, and in a very dramatic, slow motion way, the horse and all it's riders fell to the ground. Immediately, the townspeople surrounded them.The evil men could not escape. And that was the end of that. The sheriff put them all in prison, and there they remain to this day.

The Last Chapter:
No one ever knew how the horse tripped. They had not seen Ralph, for a person rarely looks that far down ever. But that was okay with Ralph. He knew what he had done, and that was enough for him.
So let this be a lesson to all. Even very small people can be heros.

Wheatie

This story is based on a dream I had.

Wheatie (A Dream)

Background:

Once upon a time there was a small, strange world. At least, it was small compared to our world, and only strange in the sense that it was different. But when I say that this world is small, you must think quite small indeed. It had no sun, or moon, or stars beyond itself. This  world was no larger than a small summer camp. And if you have ever been to a summer camp, you will better understand what this world was like. I myself have not seen this world in some time, but I will do my best to describe what I remember to you. The world twenty acres in our world’s measurements. There were about ten buildings which were scattered about. The land was surrounded by water, not an ocean or a lake though. Just water. After a few hundred feet there was no more water. The world just ended. There wasn’t a wall or a cliff or anything of the like. I’m afraid I can’t explain it at all. We don’t understand such things. The world simply ended. There were only about one hundred people there, and the world must have been new, for they had not all yet met. The land was full of hills, and every house was built upon one of these hills, except one.

Random Poetry from 5 AM.

-I'm Not a Hero-
It’s okay to be scared.
It’s okay to be afraid.
Just don’t look back.
It isn’t safe.
There’s monsters in dark.
I saw one last night.
Yellow eyes, with foaming mouth.
Full of darkness. No light.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
I’m not a hero.
How can you ask this of me.
I’m not ready to go.
Someone take my place.

-Rise or Fall-
What if you lived every second
without any hope.

The Thirst is Taking Over

-part one-
"Water. I need water. Where's the water?"
The blind child ran wildly about the lightless cave. He would trip on a rock, face slamming against the ground, but would immediately rise and continue to ask for water. The gathered crowd could not see him, for no one could see anything. They were all blind. Well, they actually didn't know they were blind. They didn't know what blind was, because they didn't know what light was. All they knew was darkness. This cave was all they knew. Throughout the people's existence they had learned the paths of the cave, and had even formed a pathetic form of houses. This was no more than reserved sections of the cave for each family. And families were not the same as you know either. People are not born in that place. They do not die. People simply arrive and disappear. They have no names.
The boy collapsed to the ground, but this time did not get up. An old man kneeled down beside the boy.
"A substance is on his head, and on the ground that I have not felt before."
"Is he moving?" a young girl asked.

Funny Title

Okay, so I was trying to think of how I could shorten the title of my blog site. So I took the first letters of each word.
A-verage
G-uy
A-verage
L-ife

It spells.....A Gal. :P
Oh well.....

Kingdom of Gold

PART ONE

-CHAPTER ONE-
Once upon a time there was an evil king, who ruled the world. No man could oppose him, for the king had powers beyond that of any king, magician, or wizard. This evil king ruled for one hundred years, and no man could defeat him. Any man known to have powers was killed, and his wife and children were sent to a far away land. After many years, the kingdom of the evil king was only dwelt in by peasants and beggars. Riots broke out in the land. Death became well known to every citizen. The king's soldiers did nothing. They would only protect the city as they had been ordered. The king cared little about his kingdom. Only his power did he love.

-CHAPTER TWO-
After the king had been ruling for eighty years,

to the King

Running. Running fast. Faster. The king has called me. I shall not delay.
He has chosen me. I cannot tarry. For some things, which once I loved;
now I hate. The former things have been remade. The spirit has changed.
The flesh still wars. One battle won. One only beginning. The world is changing.
I see it everyday. The waves always rippling. THe clouds no longer seeing their
reflection. Creatures of the deep rising to the surface. THe world is no longer
as it once was. And so I run. Alone. Ever so alone, yet ever so surrounded by
that which hunts me. Evil lurks at the door of my soul. Waiting. Patiently waiting.
I am desperate for something. I know not what. What can I do but run? Where
can I go but the king's presence? I am unworthy. Such greatness is too wonderful
for me. It is high. I cannot attain it. By what magic or sorcery have the lots
been cast in my favor? There are few chosen to be his sons, and I am the least
of them. I run. Not with pride. Not for glory. Not by riches. I no longer run at all.
Rather, I soar on the wings of love. ON the back of grace. I have struck no
bargain with the king, for I have nothing to offer. I offer only the nothing that
I am. And in return, I ask for everything he is. This offer I have made to the king.
He has accepted.

Diary of the Innocent

-CHAPTER ONE-
Once upon a time there was a little boy. His name was Iliad. He lived in a small town on the west coast, not so far from L.A. Iliad's family was not rich. Daddy was a simple baker, and mommy stayed at home taking care of him and us six kids. Life was never easy for Iliad. Daddy often came home from a night with "the guys"drunk and drunk can be. He would hit mommy so hard. She would bleed bad. Real bad. We all cried. Not iliad though. He was always happy. We never knew why. We thought he was mean for not being sad. Did he not like Mommy? How was he happy when life was so bad?

I suppose life wasn't always bad. Daddy could be real nice. Some days he would come home with candy. We would all sit down, eat, laugh, play games, and be...happy. Mommy and Daddy would kiss, and we would all giggle and look away. I'd do anything to see Daddy kiss mommy today. One day, Daddy didn't come home. We found him in the ditch by Mr. Benedict's house. Dead. He killed himself with a gun. Daddy was dead.

That was the first time I remember seeing Iliad cry.

My Bride (An analogy)

-PART ONE-

The touch was not sensual. The holding of hands merely signified that the two were together-inseparable. As it was, the two were engaged, though they had not set a date for the wedding. It had been over a year since Elijah had proposed to Leylah, and each day of it seemed like an eternity. Leylah would often ask how long until the wedding, and Elijah would always answer, "Soon."
When time mattered little, were the days the two spent together. These moments were so few. Elijah was working hard in a faraway city. He would write often, however. Elijah would tell Leylah about the work he was doing, how much he missed her, and the home he was building for the two of them.

Wisdom in Proverbs (An essay for my OT class)

Like many other college students today, I have a lot on my mind. I am working, eating, spending time with friends, eating, surfing the internet, and eating. Then, amidst all of these activities, I must find time for class and homework. After all, I have come to college to learn, or “to gain knowledge.” What is easy to forget is that so much wisdom, knowledge, and understanding is not found in any of these places, but rather in the Bible, which is sitting buried under my English Literature textbook. If I will only take the time to seek out this buried treasure, I am promised that God will grant this wisdom to me.

Moments in Life

Moments in Life

-First Moment-
Once upon a time there was a young boy named Jack. He was a very small boy, who wore big round glasses, and had a lot of freckles on his face and arms. Jack went to a little school next to a big pool. This was not any pool however. This was the pool with the high diving board. It had taken Jack many trips to the pool to build up the courage to jump off, but now that he was seven Jack wasn’t wasn’t afraid. Well...not as much. One day, Jack was climbing the ladder when he heard someone call his name. He knew exactly who it was too. This was the nicest person he had ever met, and her name was Kayla. She was in second grade, one above him. However, since she was only three months older, Jack didn’t really care. He had received a love letter from almost every girl in first grade, but half of them were annoying. Kayla never gave him love notes. She was just nice. Jack liked that. Kayla was waving at Jack now as he was just about to climb the last step of the ladder. Jack smiled so bright you could have seen his smile in the dark. That was right before he tripped and fell down the ladder.

I Feel Bad For Girls

God made man in His image. Then man was lonely. So God gave him a female. That is the one area where girls are lucky. If it weren’t for men being lonely, they wouldn’t even be. After that, it went downhill. God tells man not to eat of the forbidden fruit. Well, for some reason the man and the woman end up at that tree. The serpent talks to the woman, not the man. He entices her, and she submits. So does the man. God asks the man what he has done. Immediately the man says, “It’s all the woman’s fault! Why’d you give her to me anyway?” The woman blames the snake. All three get punished. What is humorous (if you’re a male or a snake) is the difference in punishments between the three.

Man: Has a hard time working.

Snake: Doesn’t get feet anymore.

Woman: Must go through nine months of intense pain, sickness, and back aches. Finally, when the wonderful day comes, she gives birth in unbearable pain.

Life with James, Entry Two, "College isn't what they said"

While it pains me to write to you on a second occasion in less that one week, i feel burdened to do so, that you might better understand my life. I will be brief, and simply tell you about my day. If at the end of this entry you still desire to attend a school of higher education... kudos to you.

The time was 9:45 when Nickleback reminded me that there has GOT to be somebody for me out there. I'll tell you what, there is nothing to start off a college freshman's day like knowing there is somebody out there for him. Well, that student was me, and I wasn't about to let that somebody slip away while I was still in bed. So, I got up, put in my contacts, cursed the sun for rising so early, and skipped happily to my first class. It was then that my day began to go...shall we say...downhill in the kind of way that a brick falls from the Eiffel Tower when it has been strapped to a rocket headed for earth. You see, as I skipped along like little miss Riding Hood, I realized that I had forgotten my key. No worries. After my roommate let me back in I reached for it and...it...was...not...there. AHA! An adventure!

Life with James, Entry One, "Going to College"

If your reading this it is probably for one of three reasons.
1. You are bored out of your mind and are doing the "mindless facebook browsing thing".
2. You are a dear fried of mine and sincerely care about what I have to say.
3. Your life is in ruins, you are considering suicide, and my words are your light at the end of the tunnel.
I will warn you now that if I am your light, you may want to go ahead with your plans. They will be less painful.
P.S. That was sarcasm.
I will also warn you that these entries will almost always be written late at night when I should be in bed, and my body begins to go in zombie mode. Hence, pay no regard to grammatical errors, sarcasm, or sentences and paragraphs that simply make little to el zippo sense.
With that knowledge, let our long journey begins. My last warning. Once you join the journey, you cannot end, and this journey may never end. Muahahahahahahaha.
So let us take our first step. 

The Really Short Dating Book

The Really Short Dating Book

Note from the Author

Greetings to my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus, and to those of you who are not of my spiritual family. This book (or lack thereof...more like a booklet or pamphlet) was not written because the world needs more “dating” books. Believe me...we do not need more. Books from “I kissed dating goodbye” to “Dateable” (I have read both of these) have greatly helped others in their questions about when and why and who and where to date. That is why this book does not deal with the questions normally confronted in today’s dating books. You see, when push comes to shove and the rubber hits the road, the fact of the matter is that almost everyone dates. Even people that read “I kissed dating goodbye” date. Also, just a quick  FYI ( that’s ‘for your information’ for those of you above the age 30)...when I use the word “date” that includes “courting”. This book is not about the differences between the two. You see...I believe people worry too much about the difference between the definition of the two and forget about the definition of “LOVE”...of what it actually means to care for someone. So those of you who are almost 16 and eligible to date (or whatever age is the age of eligibility these days), you may take a sigh of relief. This book is not condemning dating. Nope. From what I’ve heard dating is awesome, and I can’t wait to have my first girlfriend. However, I have also heard that dating can be heart-breaking, relationship-shattering, pride-crashing, emotion-building, tear-instigating. This book is written that you may date while getting all the good God meant for you without getting the crud Satan made for you.

Chapter One

“What this book is NOT”

I once was recommended a book entitled “Do Hard Things”. I was excited to read it. I read the first three chapters, and put it down, never to open it again. Why? Because it was full of foolishness and evil? No. Because it was boring. The first three chapters kept telling me to keep reading to learn how to change my life. I didn’t want to keep reading about how I should keep reading. I wanted to just know how to “do hard things”. I never learned, because they didn’t tell me soon enough. I’m not getting down on the book. From what I’ve heard, many have been blessed by the book. My attention span just isn’t large enough to read that long without learning anything. So, I can say honestly, “Read Chapter Two and you will learn how God can change your dating life.”

Chapter Two

“How far is ‘too far’?”

Sorry about how short chapter one was. Okay...here we go. Take your Bible and turn to I Timothy 5:1-2. I do not put the verses here in this book because I want you to look it up for yourself, rather than believe what I say. You can read it for yourself from your own version, in your own way, and let God teach you through it. Side note. Read your Bible every day. It will change your life. I’ll write a book on that later. Back to this book though. Read that verse again. Do you see what I’m seeing? You hear what I’m hearing? Let me break this verse down and put it in my own words. I’m not changing the meaning. This verse could also be read, “treat EVERY girl (my point in capitalizing “every” is to simply point out that your girlfriend or future girlfriend would be included in this category) like you would treat your sister. WOW!!! Why have I never read this before in another dating book. 

Kids my age (19) ask this question ALL the time...”How far is too far?” I laugh immediately to that question because usually the question is being asked to find out how FAR you can go in a relationship instead of how far you can stay AWAY from the line between sin and “okay”. I’ve heard many many speakers, who have been discussing dating for double digit years, answer this question by saying, “Well, the Bible doesn’t really specify how far you can go, or when you can start kissing, or when you can start making out, or snuggling,” or etc. The way most teens respond to this is “COOL!” However, I am here to write to you that each one of these speakers twenty times more qualified to write a book about dating than I are WRONG!!! Am I proud. No. God simply showed me a verse they must have missed. Read that verse again. If you agree with me that this verse signifies that we should treat our girlfriend like our sister (boyfriend like brother), then keep reading. If not, throw this in the fire and tell me where I err. So, to those of you still reading...I want you to think of something. When was the last time you made out with your sibling of the opposite gender? Last time you let your hands wander under the sheets while watching a movie? Last time you played footsie? Last time you had sex? I know. I know. That is sick and very weird. But these are so often the things that teens or anyone dating wants to know if they can do or not. The answer is found in the verse you have hopefully read three times by now. Go ahead. Read it again. Would you have sex with your sister? Would you make out with her? Never thought about it this way? Neither had I. I think this so so so so so simple to understand. Everyone told me that God had nothing to say about dating. They were all wrong. God is so so so interested in every single area of our lives. Do you think He just sits in Heaven kicking Himself saying, “UH! I forgot to tell them ‘how far too far was! I’ll remember when I make the next world!”? NO! Of course not. God knew we would have questions about dating. So He gave us answers. 

Now, on the other hand...would you hold hands with your sister? I do. Granted my family is probably closer than most families, but all the same. Of course I will hold my sisters hand on a walk. She’s my sister. I’m her older brother. She means the world to me, and it’s my job to protect her. When asked what the most romantic thing in the world is, many would answer a kiss, some flowers, some sex, some a wink. For me, holding hands is the most possible romantic thing in the world. Lame? I don’t think so. Holding hands represents unity. When a guy holds a girls hand, he is telling her that he would rather be with no one else. He will lead her to the best ending possible. He is saying that he is there for her if she falls. He will protect her from anyone that would harm her. My sister means that much to me. If I am ever blessed with a girlfriend, by God’s grace, that is what I will feel toward my girlfriend. Do I sit by my sister and put my arm around her during a movie? Absolutely. When we’re on a car trip, do I let my sister lay her head on my shoulder as she sleeps? That’s what my shoulder is for. But WHAT ABOUT KISSING!? Don’t worry. I didn’t forget about that. But you know what I find funny? Why is kissing so pleasurable? Well, I shouldn’t even say that with such certainty. The last girl I kissed on the lips that wasn’t related to me was...never. I’m just going by what they tell me. Why isn’t a hand shake pleasurable, and we just kiss people when we meet them? Who knows. But for whatever reason kissing is just the awesome thing to do. I have two things to say on this topic. First, would you kiss your sister? I kiss my sister on the cheek when I go on a trip or some nights before bed. A sign of love. Do I kiss her on the lips. No. Some people might though. So should you kiss your girlfriend? This is the one area that I believe is up to you completely. BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT...before you put this book down and drive to your boyfriend’s house to kiss him, hear my second point.

Like I said, I have never kissed a girl before. I am also incredibly excited to do so. I can’t wait to find that one that steals my heart when she speaks my name. To walk through the fields hand in hand looking up at the stars reflected in her eyes. To get caught outside in the thunderstorm, and kiss her in the pouring rain as lightening crashes all around us. I can’t wait. But I am waiting, because I want her to be the only one. Does that mean you’re a loser if you’ve already kissed? Of course not. But just remember, every time you give something away for the first time, you can never get it back. If my wife has already kissed another man, I will still love every second of kissing her.

“But kissing is so romantic!” You want to know what is REALLY romantic? When a man and wife kiss, and neither of them have ever kissed before. They aren’t really sure how to even do it. They both lean in awkwardly, and exchange that priceless gift together. That’s romantic. 

Chapter Three

“Why wait?”

As I already said. The first reason to wait, is because the more you save, the more you can give to the one God saved for you. The second reason is this. The more you love someone, the less you should do physically with them. You see, if you have a really good friend of the opposite gender, the last thing you should be doing engaging in is physical contact. I mean everything! One thing I think has even gotten out of hand is hugging. Careful how you hug a male, ladies. Males are a bunch of sick-minded creatures that take any opportunity for enjoyment. Does that mean stop hugging? No. Just be careful. Men...be careful too! 

The reason so many relationships fall off the ladder of relationship is because when climbing to each “next step”, couples always forget to take the first step. 

Step One: Be friends.

It’s so simple, and so neglected. The best days between two lovers is when you are friends. Laugh. Keep laughing with each other. Forget about the worries of “status”. “Status” is the stupidest word I have ever heard of. The truth of the matter is that relationships shouldn’t be about statuses or steps. When you fall in love it should catch you by surprise. One day you and your boyfriend are best friends, but one night while cooking smores, something bizarre happens. She takes her flaming marshmallow out of the flames. She frantically tries to blow out the flames. After succeeding, she proceeds to take the mallow off the stick and put it on the graham cracker. She then puts Hershey's chocolates on top, and adds the top cracker. Bringing it her mouth she takes her first bite. Crumbs fall onto her jeans. Chocolate stains her lips. Before you know it, the smore is gone. Her mouth is full of sticky whiteness and chocolate. She looks ridiculous. And then she looks at you. You laugh out loud because she looks so funny, but inside something is telling you that this chocolate-mouthed girl is the only one in the world for you. In that moment you know that you want to see this sticky-handed girl every night. You smile at how lame it sounds. She notices you smile, and mouth still full, asks what’s so funny, pieces of chocolate falling out in the process. And that’s when your heart and your soul and your mind simultaneously agree that the feeling inside of you is real. 

Now, I realize that I most likely botched the point I was trying to make, but hopefully you salvaged something from it. All I’m trying to say is that love isn’t as complicated as we try to make it. You see, if you enjoy drama and breaking hearts, keep on dating the guy who is popular, and the girl who flirts with you. Date them for two weeks like you do, make out every night, and dump her for the homecoming queen. Dump him for the new starting quarterback. Go ahead. You’ll always have the best, the most popular. But you will regret it. I promise. I guarantee. You will look at the kid who always sat by himself at lunch. You know, that kid you made fun of for staying pure and not kissing. He is happily married. Got three kids. Cute, smart kids. He didn’t kiss once in his life. Never had sex. Didn’t make out with that girl that asked him to. And you want to know something funny? He doesn’t regret it. He’s happier because of it. 

So why wait? To put it simply...you’ll be glad you did. 

Chapter Four

“What to look for”

So, now you know how far too far is. You know why your waiting. But who do you date, or if you’re already dating, is he/she the right one? Why in the world are you asking a guy that hasn’t ever dated? Well, since you did, I’ll give you my best advice. 

1. Date someone who wants to wait too. Do NOT date someone you have to convince to wait. Why? Because it will be so much harder to say no when...not if...when he asks you to cross the line you’ve drawn. If you date a guy/girl who is excited to save his firsts for his wife, you are most likely dating a good man/woman. If you are a believer, do NOT date someone who does not share your faith. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:14 that we are not to be “unequally yoked.” This means a Christian should not marry an unbeliever. Why? It will be hard. Marriage is about sharing everything and giving up everything to your spouse. You will not be able to share the one thing that means everything to you. He will not be there for you when you’re struggling in your faith, and he may indeed be the cause of your struggling. 


2. Marry someone who wants to be your second love. Marry someone so in love with Jesus that he looks forward to being with Jesus so much more than being with you. And at the same time, thanks God every day for the time He has given him with you. Why am I talking about marriage? Because that should be why we date. Why date if you’re not doing so with the purpose of someday getting married. Dating becomes entertainment, a game. As I said in the previous chapter, I think statuses are stupid. In the same sense I think the word “dating” is annoying. You know when relationships always seem to fail? When a title is put in the relationship. As soon as both partners realize that they have taken a new step in their relationship, they both freak out. Suddenly they think they must act differently. Now, obviously you’ll know when things are more serious than they used to be, but let that encourage you to be yourself. If you became amazing friends by being yourself without physical contact, why can’t you pursue your relationship by being yourself without physical contact?


3. Date someone who understands that you are NOT everything. This is where humility comes in. Like I said, for those who are believers, make sure Jesus Christ is your boy/girlfriend’s everything. You are second. And a far down second at that. Everything we do should be to bring glory and honor and praise to our Savior. That includes everything you do with your friend. Let everything you do together praise God. Everything. Pray together. Study God’s Word together. The purpose of marriage is for a man and a woman to join together to become one greater person for Christ. The purpose of dating would then be to find out if you are meant to be joined, and while you’re searching for the answer, glorifying God through your dating. You see, today’s stereotype for dating is so sad. That’s probably why some Christians use the word “courting” instead. Dating is often identified with back seat, hours-long making out, bikini-clad girls “tanning” on the beach with their boyfriend beside or on top of them, condoms, and abortions when the condoms don’t work. Now, I’m not here to start a rebellion against this view of dating. But maybe, God willing, I can encourage you to become the rebel. What if the world looked at unbelievers and saw sex, drinking, abortions, drop outs, and eventual divorces in their dating? But then they looked at Christian dating and saw true love; a couple holding hands, eating a DQ cone, walking through the park; two starting a Bible study in their school; and eventual marriages that lasted to death like our vows used to say. Try to understand the impact  we could have on the world!


4. Date someone who understand it may not work out. Even if you do everything right, stay away from physical contact, and look to God for everything you do, it just makes sense that some still won’t be meant for each other. Do not confuse this with dating someone who EXPECTS it to not work out. Stay far away from them. They will use any excuse to dump you when they feel like it. Now, does this mean that you will never get hurt? No. Any relationship that ends will be hard. But think about this. Which will be the harder break-up?

1. The guy your friend introduced you to that you thought was amazing. You dated him the next week. On your fourth date you gave away your first kiss, and he dumped you. It’s awkward even seeing him for a long time.
2. Your best friend. You spent years hanging out. Everything you do is clean and Godly. You even work together in your church. You feel like He is the one. But when you tell him how you feel, he tells you he doesn’t feel it’s God’s will. 

I hope your answer is B, but I understand that neither is easy. Now, just as the guy in scenario A is probably a jerk, the guy in scenario B, may just as easily be a jerk. He may be completely sincere, and just have always viewed you as an awesome friend. But...he may also just be giving you the “God card”. He led you on to think that you would be married one day. He even talked about how many kids you would have. But then you find out he actually likes someone else, and before you know it he is dating them. If a guy simply fools you, there is nothing you can do about that. That is why you wait to date. The longer you know a guy/girl, the longer you are friends, the better friends you will be, and the better you will know each other. You are less apt to get fooled. Some guys or girls may fool you their entire lives. There is nothing you can do about this. Any relationship is dangerous. That is why I am so adamant on saving everything for my wife. If I wait for marriage, even though I may be hurt incredibly bad through a dating experience, I will still have all my “firsts”. 


1. Date someone who truly loves you. Love is the most important thing in the world. Without love, the world would not have been made. God would not have spared Noah when He destroyed the earth. God would not have chosen a people to follow him. God would not have sent His Son to save the world. Jesus would not come back for His bride. Look for a man/woman who is looking for nothing from you. Look for someone who simply wants to, as Relient K puts so well, “give until there’s nothing left.” Look for a servant. 


2. Do not marry someone who is interested in your body. Now, I understand that every guy (I can’t speak for the ladies) notices the way the a girl looks. It’s impossible for us not to. So if we like you as more than a friend, it’s a given that we think you’re breath-taking. Now, I understand it is difficult for you to know a guy’s intentions, but you can also play a part in this, ladies. If a guy is just looking for a body, he will go for someone who’s body he can see. So, if you wish to be rid of such men, do not show them your body. And NO...this does not mean that you can’t stay up with the latest fashions. I assure you that there are plenty of “in” clothes that are just fine. Now, the other 50 percent lies in the guy. So guys, just stop looking. Sheesh. You are a bunch of idiots (myself included). Now I come to a point I feel very strongly about that many may disagree with. You may even get mad at me, and that’s fine. I just want to give my opinion, and hopefully the opinion of other guys. Girls. Be VERY careful how you dress at the beach when guys are present. DO NOT WEAR BIKINIS!!! PLEASE!!! To me it seems like you just forgot to get dressed! What do you think is going through a guy’s head at the beach. “Boy, the waves are nice today. Good breeze. Awesome temperature. Probably good fishing.” NO! If he’s not concerned about you, just your body, he’s thinking: “Wow, her body is FINE!” But if he is trying to live a Godly life and respect you, because he loves you, he is thinking: “God, this is so hard! She looks awesome, but I don’t even know how to hang out with her. I can’t even be myself. When I talk to her I have to look a foot above her head. Help her to wear more clothes next time.” So girls. Date someone who asks you to wear more clothes. Don’t take offense to this. Don’t think less of the guy. If a guy asks you to wear more clothes, he is a good man. Men, ask girls to wear more clothes. Don’t feel awkward telling them. I just told them you would ask.

Chapter Five

“Love like Jesus...even when you fight”

Dating is about marriage. Marriage is about love. Jesus is love. So when it comes right down to it, if you’re looking for the perfect example to follow...follow Jesus. He taught those He loved. He served them. He healed them. He spent time with them. He stood up for them. He prayed for them. He suffered for them. He died for them. He rose for them. If you can find a date who fits this...to you I say, “Well done.” Also, 1 Corinthians 13 is an amazing chapter to read to find out how to love. But I’ll let you read that for yourself. 

One more thing before we go to our last chapter. You and your date will fight. If you don’t, something is probably wrong. Back to me and my sister. We...fight...all...the...time. And you know what, we are so much closer because of it. Am I condoning fighting. No. Don’t try to fight. Fighting in itself is bad. However, you can use a fight and turn it into a lesson. Learn from your fights. Learn your date’s likes...dislikes...habits...and fears. Don’t be worried if you and your date fight. Be worried if you fight about the same thing twice. Twice means you didn’t learn from the last time, and if you didn’t learn from the last time, you didn’t change something you should have changed. Remember, dating is not about you. I don’t care if your girlfriend doesn’t make ANY sense. Do it her way (unless it’s not Scriptural). People are quirky. Your boyfriend will be quirky. That’s okay. Think about it. If you really want your own way, then submit. Because if your boyfriend takes this advice too, he’ll submit first and you’ll get your way anyway. It’s a no-brainer! So go ahead. Pull out the gloves and get in the ring. Ding! There goes the bell. FIGHT! But after that fight, never fight about that again.  After that fight, be better friends because of what you learned. Fighting is often started by rebuke. Jesus rebuked many people, but he also did it in love. Rebuke your date when they are in the wrong, but don’t do it for any other reason than for their own good. Fight with love.

Chapter Six

“In Conclusion”

Dating is not about you. It’s about God first, and then about your boyfriend/girlfriend. Be a servant. If you ask nothing of your partner and he/she asks nothing in return of you, what a Godly relationship you could have! Also, the things I have said in this short book-like thing do not lead to a boring dating experience. There is so much romantic, amazingly awesome, fun-filled, life-time memories that Godly dating can bring. And you’ll have no regrets, no matter what happens. I will leave you with this. Do not date someone without dating Jesus first. Read your Bible as often as you would want to hang out with your girlfriend. Pray as often as you would want to be with that boy. If you’re not madly in love with Jesus, you are not ready to be in love with someone else.

Jesus is love. Follow His example.

James Knoop